It’s my RV and I’ll dance if I want to

I’ve started singing and dancing while I make dinner every night and the kids hate me for it. SO much eye rolling and impatient grunting, and that’s mostly why I do it. Why shouldn’t I share my obsessive ear worms with my family? Sharing is caring, children.

The morning after our extremely epic space adventure we woke up thinking we were going to have a recovery day. It was A LOT of walking for my two small tax deductions and my lovely retiree with the foot problems. By lunch time we’d decided that the weather wasn’t going to get any better that week, we should just bite the bullet and head to LegoLand.

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She caught air!

I have two things to say about LegoLand. First, I enjoy that the kids can ride the rides without us. I mostly detest amusement park rides, and the children like to be independent, so it works. Second, LegoLand is VASTLY overpriced. I thought this about the nicer one in California, too, and had I known the state of affairs in Florida I would have skipped the Merlin passes all together. The Florida location can best be described as teetering on the edge between shit-hole and novelty. The park really shows it’s age, and it seems that there are no efforts to update the place. Everything is extremely spaced out and hard to get to. We got lost several times – even with a map. I can hear you whispering to yourself that it was probably my fault. Hush, you.

 

 

Nobody was there, it was like a ghost town. We rode this ride at least five times in a row.

It was a submarine ride that swung outward on your command. It was probably not safe.

They also had a two story carousel which they rode first and last.

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Admittedly it was kind of neat. Who wouldn’t want to ride those life-sized Lego horses up there? (hint: me)

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We completed the whole park in about three hours. Because this was our second day in a row filled with walking and being in public, Wesson was in tears by the end and Justin was a hobbling mess. Mara was happy, though!

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I felt terrible for those vacationers who bought tickets at the gate. Spend your money on Lego sets instead and you’ll be much happier.

Two days later we were on the move! This little guy apparently did not want us to leave. He tried to jump onto Justin’s hand when he unplugged the camper.

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Hey.

The first night of travel was spent in a Bass Pro Shops parking lot! We love some BPS! Always there with a boat to play on, a line of parking spaces to hog, and a curb to hang our bed slides over.

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There was a roundabout to go through to get into this lot. Roundabouts seem cool until your vehicle is sixty feet long, then waterboarding seems more attractive.

The next day brought us to our first real stop: Pensacola Air Station!

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This campground was really nice! It was right by the water.

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Don’t you just freakin’ love a watery sunset? That strip of land over there is Alabama, FYI.

Most of the military installations have museums of some sort. This place had a whopper.

Wesson has been wearing his Marine cammies every time we go on a base just to let everyone know where his loyalties lie.

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Look at that face! That boy is precious. If that plane had wings he’d have been gone. The gift shop had something that Wesson has been pining over:

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Dress blues acquired!

Daddy has a soft spot and deep pockets for the little Marine boy. We tried to talk him into a haircut to go with the uniform but he LOVES his long hair. Nine out of ten people assume that he is a girl and engage him as such (sometimes I wonder about people). He is quick to correct them but is never offended because there is nothing wrong with being a girl. He is confident enough in himself that it just doesn’t bother him. Rock on with your luxurious locks, baby boy!

We were off again on January 14th, but instead of going to ONE place, we went to FOUR places; Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana, in very specific order. This also gave us three new states on our states sticker map, effectively closing the tauntingly barren gap we had lying between Florida/Georgia and Texas. Some people only count the states if they’ve slept there, other people have more creative criteria. We just have to go there as a family while full-timing. There are going to be some pass-through states, It’s the nature of the beast. Mississippi is just going to have to get over it.

We got into Texas just in time for a nice ice storm. By the second day our camper-cicle was complete. The south has let us down tremendously this year. We’d have been better off going straight to California.

Instead of hanging out in icy Houston we opted to head north to warmer weather. Totally makes sense, huh? We planted ourselves in Whitney, just south of Fort Worth and just north of Waco. If you remember last years stay in Whitney, we had a tornado tear through and hop right over the campground! For this reason I was nervous, but honestly what are the chances? I wore pants to bed so that I wouldn’t get flung into the woods in my underwear. It was the least I could do. Thankfully the days were not stormy and my fears were unfounded.

I’ve talked about museum memberships before (I think). We’ve taken advantage of the wide reciprocity of the Lake Superior Zoo membership in the past. We took a break last year, because you can only visit so many children’s science centers without wanting to pluck your eyelashes out because of the redundancy. This year, we opted to buy a travel membership from Kern Pioneer Village in California because of their broad reciprocity. They are members of Time Travelers, North American Reciprocal Museums, Association of Science-Technology Centers, AND Association of Children’s Museums. If you do any traveling AT ALL this is a worthy investment. Anyway, for this reason we headed out to Waco one day to visit Baylor University and their AMAZING natural history museum. On the way, we saw a sign for something called Waco Mammoth National Monument. Whaaaaat?! How did we not know about this! Plans changed immediately.

 

…and we were SO glad that they did! The tour was fantastic! There have been 26 Columbian Mammoths found in this area, in what is the only nursery herd that’s ever been found in the US. The ranger that led us to the STILL ACTIVE dig site was awesomely friendly and gave us great information. Wesson is, like, the BEST person to have on your tour because he eliminates the awkward silence that is inevitably applied by adults who are still awkward and don’t ever give the docent anything to work with. He’s the participant that you wish that you were.

Also exciting? JUNIOR RANGER PROGRAM! This was surprising because the place has only been in the National Park system for two years.

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Can you find ROADSCHOOL in there anywhere?

The kids had to take their Junior Ranger Pledge with one hand on a Columbian Mammoth tooth!

Thanks, Ranger Rachel from Virginia!

While we were in Waco last time I saw this big greenspace and drove right by, not even realizing it was that place from that show.

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I BARELY know who Chip and Joanna Gaines are but I wasn’t going to skip this again. The shop is exactly as clean and stylish as you would expect.

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This is only one part of the warehouse

The outside was a big, green area of fake grass where kids could play and adults could lounge around on giant beanbag chairs.

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Overall it was ok, nothing to repeat, but now we can say that we did it. If they were there behind the register slinging bags of fake flowers and gingerly wrapping giant timepieces it would have been more of a thrill.

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Saturn V shirt , like a boss.

 

The kids finally got to ride their unicycles! We’ve been lugging them around since we left Michigan in November, and Wesson hopped right on! Mara is almost there. If she believed in gravity a little less she’d be riding circles around her brother. For the record, that tennis court said no bicycles or skateboards and said NOTHING about unicycles. Also, we didn’t get caught.

If you want to learn more about unicycling, check out the Unicycle Society of America! This year’s North American Unicycling Competition and Convention is going to be held in Livonia, Michigan and if you’re in the area it’s worth a stop to see some awesome people do *almost* impossible things.

I had thought that I’d squeeze the rest of January into this post but we are so active right now life is moving faster than my fingers. I have SO much to tell you. Come back soon!

“Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little coarse, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

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It’s Not a Truck if it’s Never Been in the Mud

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STUCK. SO VERY STUCK. That is how we started our visit to Michigan. Mud up to the middle of the wheels isn’t as entertaining as it sounds. We took the trailer off out of fear that it would tip, the ground was that wet. Justin tried and tried and tried. We put boards under the tires and we had traction grips (that were technically for the snow) that collapsed under the weight of our behemoth truck. It was rainy and gross and all I wanted to do was be warm in my RV with no mud!!!

Eventually an employee went driving by on his golf cart. He was able to call another off-duty employee who lived in the park and had a biggish truck. With his help, and the help of every scrap of wood in the entire campground, we were eventually free! All we had to do from there was recover the camper and it was not as easy as we’d hoped. After much destruction of property we hooked the employees truck to the camper and pulled him and the RV out of the mud pit with the F450. Part of the tonneau cover rail was damaged (still functional) and we also had to buy a new wiring harness for the trailer. A small price to pay, I guess. Oh yeah, and we were the only ones coming into the campground that day so everyone now knows exactly who we are. We really know how to make an entrance, don’t we?

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The aftermath

Besides cleaning the mud out of our shoes, that first week was spent pretending to be DaVinci. School is so much fun!

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It actually worked when we put it back together!

Riding unicycles with the Redford Township Unicycle Club! It’s a family requirement, y’know. Justin had to learn when he first joined forces with me. The kids are actually doing really well with it, and their newly found balance has extended itself to pretty much all of the rest of their outdoor activities.

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And eating Superman ice cream!

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Super awesome!

Until I’d moved from Michigan I had no idea that Superman Ice Cream was not a world-wide, readily available commodity. I really need the rest of you Superman-free states to get on board with this one. While we’re at it, I need everybody to roll out Ale-8-one and fresh Peets coffee as well. And maybe some HEB Brisket Burgers. Mmmm… Why is it that Jet’s Pizza is so much better in Michigan than it is anywhere else? And what’s up with 7-eleven, Moe’s, Taco Cabana, and Del Taco not being where I want them to be? I must be hungry right now.

Speaking of food, I went to the local Kroger for groceries one morning and when I came out to put the groceries in the truck I noticed the back end was completely speckled with little black dots. When I looked at the ground I saw two trails coming from under the truck and tracing my route all the way through the parking lot. Sticking my head under the cab revealed a giant puddle. The truck had dumped three quarters of its oil on the ground! AARRGGHH! There was so much oil in the engine compartment that I couldn’t figure out where it had come from, and with the amount of truck blood it had lost I couldn’t drive it home. I had it towed to my parents house so that we could work on it near civilization and with help. By the time I’d waited for the tow truck, rode to my parents house, ranted about the truck, and procured one of their vehicles to drive back to the campground, I’d been gone from the house for EIGHT HOURS. I had also woke up at 6:30am for no apparent reason that day, so at hour twelve of my day when I was stuck in traffic on the freeway my head just about exploded. My family ate pizza for dinner that night. It’s the longest trip to the grocery store to date. I should have called Guinness.

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*SOB*

The next day Justin was able to determine that the oil was spraying out of the oil sensor! That’s not something that’s supposed to be possible. We’re all about impossible, apparently. It was a quick fix and we were back in business!

After we’d been at the campground in St Clair for about ten or so days we discovered that between all of our appointments and practices, etc. we’d have to drive 600+ miles that week. Barf! It was decided to move the camper to my parents house so that we could be closer to everything and cut that number down to less than 150. This is what it looks like to be there:

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Tight quarters! The kids definitely love it, though. Who doesn’t love being spoiled to bits at Grandma and Grandpa’s house? This arrangement also allowed us to do extra things we would have skipped, like watching flaming puck unicycle hockey. Give it a Google, it’s plenty of fun.

May 23rd we pulled out of there and headed west to the Grand Rapids area. We had a doctors appointment scheduled for our camper at the RV dealership. The sick fridge and axle were finally going to be looked at, as well as many other injured trim and seals we’d been saving up all year. Justin’s aunt and uncle were kind enough to let us bunk in their basement for the week that the camper would be in the shop. Four weeks later we are STILL HERE. I’m just glad that they are wonderful, tolerant people who haven’t snapped and put us on the curb yet. Hug your camper, people. You don’t know how much you’ll miss it until it’s being held hostage at the RV dealership.

I almost forgot to introduce you to my squirrel friend! I bribed him with some tortilla bits so that I could exploit him.

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He never told me his name. Maybe he’ll be waiting for us when we get back to the Detroit side next week.

I’ll leave you with Mr. Emerson and something we really, really needed to practice this month.

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We moved for 30 days and I ignored you

WELL! Here we are, a full month-plus since our last conversation. I know, I know. I’m supposed to be keeping you up to date. Would you accept this cookie as an apology? It’s a Keebler Elf with chocolate creme, of course you will.

The sale of the house closed as planned on the day planned. We drove our rig to the closing and hit the road immediately! I’m going to rip out a quick list of places we’ve stayed and then we can elaborate on a few, ok?

  • Bass Pro Shops – Portage, IN

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  • Aunt Terri and Uncle Tom’s House – Grandville, MI (No photo. Dangit.)
  • Camp Dearborn – Milford, MI

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  • Stacey’s House – Holland, MI

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  • Doctor Dan and Amanda’s House – Nunica, MI

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  • Conestoga Grand River Campground – Coopersville, MI

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  • Aunt Brenda and Uncle Dale’s House – Brooklyn, MI

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  • Mom and Dad’s House – Dearborn Heights, MI

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  • Cabela’s – Noblesville, IN

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  • Lousiville Slugger Field – Louisville, KY

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14958416_10154572305768548_1484912478_nThe first thing we did in Michigan was have our heating system fixed at the dealership,because if you are going to voluntarily live in the cold you should probably have heat. Don’t ask me why it wasn’t working, it must have known that we needed it. While it was being fixed we drove go karts and Mara won a big stuffed animal out of a claw machine. She is the Babe Ruth of claw machines. She once won TWO stuffed animals at the same time AND gave one to her brother. A winner with a heart of gold!

We spent a week at Camp Dearborn then headed to West Michigan again. On the way we stopped in Lansing and hung out at the state capital because *ahem* roadschool, remember? We did the tour of the capital building and checked out the awesome state library. On the way back to the East side we stopped there again and visited the state museum. Such a neat place as a whole, rich in history and easy to enjoy.

We visited the USS Silversides museum in Muskegon one afternoon and played on a torpedo or two.

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When we left the West again we headed to Aunt Brenda and Uncle Dale’s house for a week of visiting and fun. While we were there Mara finally got to shoot her rifle. She’d only had it an entire year. Everybody got to shoot that day! It was also a great opportunity to brush up on firearms safety with the children. If you haven’t had that conversation with your kids I highly recommend you do so.

We left there and spent ten days at my parents house. We somehow got the camper in the driveway and although it barely fit between the houses and fences I’m glad that we got to spend all those days there. The kids really got comfortable and we all had a great stay. With Grandma and Grandpa there we had an opportunity to take the kids out one at a time for some fun on their own. We took Wesson to ride the bumper cars, he jumped on a sky bungee thingy, and we got Slurpees. Mara wanted to go to Build-a-Bear. On our way into the mall we stepped into a puppy store and played with the cutest little Daschund. He immediately started licking Mara’s face and made it extremely difficult to hand him back over – that is, until we found out it was close to $3,000 to love him permanently.

What else did we do there… Hmm… we watched flaming puck unicycle hockey, made bacon pancakes, went to unicycle practice, attended Pumpkin Palooza in Plymouth, carved jack o’ lanterns, and went trick or treating!

 

Are you tired? Because I’m tired. We’re at Slugger Field for another few minutes. We came here so that Justin could brew some beer with Goodwood Brewing. It was part of his prize for winning his category in the homebrew competition at the Kentucky State Fair. It lead to creation of his own blog and I’m super excited for him. He’ll be brewing with other people around the US and Canada as we travel. You can follow Roadbrewing.com for updates on that portion of the adventure.

Surprise! I never finished my blog post and now we are in Lexington, KY! We had a great dinner with friends and after we replace two dry-rotted tires on the truck tomorrow we’ll be headed to Tennessee. The destination is really San Antonio, Texas so that Justin can have a small umbilical hernia fixed at the awesome Veterans hospital. We are going to slow-roll our way down there. I promise and pinky swear that I will update you sooner than thirty days from now. I’ll sign off with a selfie of me wearing my sunglasses indoors and a hat that I didn’t purchase, because that’s what the cool kids do.

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Hookin’ ain’t easy, kids.